Beetlejuice (1988) Quotes From Tim Burton's Classic Film

Beetlejuice (1988) remains a timeless gem in the realm of darkly comedic cinema, and its quirky charm has captivated audiences for decades. Helmed by the imaginative genius of director Tim Burton, this classic film is a masterful blend of humour, fantasy, and horror, offering a one-of-a-kind cinematic experience. 

Amidst the eerie landscapes of the Netherworld and the chaotic dynamics of the Deetz family, Beetlejuice has gifted us with an array of unforgettable lines that have become ingrained in popular culture.

Here we’re delving into the wacky and macabre world of "Beetlejuice" by exploring some of the most memorable quotes from the film, celebrating its impact on cinema and the enduring appeal of its twisted humour.

Juno: “What's wrong?”

Barbara: “We're very unhappy.”

Juno: “What did you expect? You're dead!”

Lydia: “Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?”

Beetlejuice: “Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.”

Lydia: “Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.”

Beetlejuice: “No, I mean they're gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased…”

Lydia: “Are you a ghost, too?”

Beetlejuice: “I'm a ghost with the most, babe.”

Charles: “As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a darkroom in the basement, okay?”

Lydia: “My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.”

Delia: “So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.”

Adam: “You've read our book?”

Lydia: “Yeah.”

Adam: “You can follow it?”

Lydia: “Yeah. Why were you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom?”

Adam: “We were trying to scare your mother.”

Lydia: “Stepmother. Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.”

Adam: “What are your qualifications?”

Beetlejuice: “Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?”

Beetlejuice: “These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules.”

Preacher: “Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife?”

Beetlejuice: [Runs off to the side mumbling to himself] “Oh geez, I don't know. I mean, it's kind of a big decision isn't it? I mean, I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it once and that was it. Oh, well.”

[Runs back to the altar and stands next to Lydia]

Beetlejuice: “Sure, yeah. Go ahead.”

Lydia: “Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?”

Adam: “We're ghosts!”

Lydia: “What do you look like under there?”

Adam: "Aren't you scared?”

Lydia: “I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you "Night of the Living Dead" under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?”

Adam: “Night of the what?”

Lydia: “Living Dead. It's a movie.”

Barbara: “You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.”

Adam: “Can you be scary?”

Beetlejuice: “Oh, thanks for asking”

[turns around, imitates jerking-off]

Beetlejuice: “Can I be scary? What do you think of this?”

[makes a horrific image we don't see]

Beetlejuice: “You like it?”

Lydia: [while eating Cantonese food] “I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that's in this food.”

Lydia: “They don't wanna come down.”

Delia: “Charles…”

Otto: “Why not?”

Lydia: “I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.”

Delia: “Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.”

Adam: “Cabin fever, hon?”

Barbara: “Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?”

Adam: “Maybe this is heaven.”

Barbara: “In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.”

[On the new house]

Lydia: “Delia hates it.”

[sees a HUGE spider on a web]

Lydia: “I could live here.”

Delia: “This is my art, and it is dangerous! Do you think I want to die like this?”

Adam: [reading] “'Handbook of the Recently Diseased'.”

Barbara: “...*deceased*.”

Adam: “Deceased?”

Barbara: “I don't know where it came from. Look at the publisher.”

Adam: [does so] "'Handbook for the Recently Deceased Press'.”

Barbara: “You know what? I don't think we survived the crash!”

Barbara: “Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her.”

Adam: “She's got photos, Barbara.”

Barbara: “Adam, you had a photo of Big Foot!”

Beetlejuice: "*That* is why I won't do two shows a night anymore, babe, I won't.”

Beetlejuice: [to Charles and Delia] “Mom, Dad. I just want you two to know, you're welcome at our house anytime you want to come over. In the meantime, the dowry's on me, dad.”

[gives Charles a handful of snakes]

Barbara: [to Adam] “What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?”

Lydia: “If you are real ghosts, you guys better get another routine because those sheets, they don't work.”

Lydia: “They wanted me to dissect a frog, I told them it was against my religion.”

Adam: “It's the first day of our vacation, and you haven't been out of the kitchen since five a.m.”

Barbara: [proudly] “I always make the flag cake.”

Adam: “Fifty stars, thirteen stripes. Did you get it right this year?”

Juno: [at the Maitland home] “Things seem pretty quiet. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.”

Charles: “I'm not sure this is the right environment for Lydia. Snakes, ghosts..."

Delia: "Shrimp.”

Lydia: “I myself am strange and unusual.” 

Tim Burton's darkly comedic masterpiece continues to captivate new generations, enchanting viewers with its eccentric characters, imaginative landscapes, and, above all, its unforgettable quotes. 

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